When Letting Go is the Right Move
Let's jump right into it.
Quitting and being a "quitter" may not be as lame as we once thought. From childhood we've been conditioned to think that quitting is weak and that success comes from grit, hard work, and persevering. But is quitting really that bad of a thing?
In her book Quitting: A Life Strategy, Julia Keller explores how the Industrial Revolution shaped our negative views of quitting, linking success solely to endurance.
Curiously though, when done wisely, quitting can be just as valuable as perseverance..
Why Is Quitting So Hard?
The easy answer?? It's associated with laziness, weakness, failure, etc..
To add to this, behavioral scientist Annie Duke, explains that our bias toward persistence can actually hold us back:
Sunk Cost Bias – The more we invest time or money into something the harder it is to let go even when it’s no longer serving us.
Fear of Judgment – We worry about what others will think if we quit.
Desire for Control – We want to believe we exhausted every option before quitting.
Emotional Barriers – Jobs, relationships, and commitments can be deeply personal, making it tough to walk away.
But the truth is, quitting isn’t always a sign of weakness. Sometimes, it can be a step toward growth.
Here's how.
The Hidden Benefits of Quitting
I'm learning that persevering at all costs can actually be harmful to our mental health, like holding on to that toxic lover, unfulfilling job, one-sided friendship, or unrealistic goal. Persevering at all costs can prevent us from adapting and growing, or even finding better opportunities.
Quitting on the other hand can:
Improve mental and physical health
Free up time and energy for better options
Allow us to shift gears toward something or someone more fulfilling
When Should We Quit?
Deciding when to quit is your personal decision, but here are a few telltale signs that strongly suggest it's time to throw in the towel and keep it moving:
Feeling restless or on edge for at least six months.
Persistent exhaustion, cynicism, and loss of motivation.
Feeling worthless, changes in sleep or appetite, or suicidal thoughts lasting at least two weeks.
Emotional stress.
So, if these symptoms sound familiar, you should think long and hard about whether quitting could be the healthier choice for your mental wellbeing. I've needed to do this more than a few times in my life. And I know firsthand that navigating enormous decisions such as this can be emotionally exhausting, so reach out to trusted friends and family, or your mental health professional for support if needed.
Doing it the Right Way
This can't be an impromptu and impulsive move. Quitting the right way means planning your exit and understanding what you need to let go of. So, don't make the situation harder for yourself.
Set a quit date and choose a clear timeline for your exit.
Set boundaries as needed.
Set aside time for self-care.
- Plan for what’s next. Try visualizing what your life will look like after quitting.
Prepare for your next chapter by learning and developing new skills.
So, what do Y'all think about quitting now? Our perception of it may be.... off.
Having the bravery to call it a quits is a strategic choice. And it isn't the "end all be all" we believe it to be. Young adults quit school all the time and return later, perhaps with new majors and interests. Folks leave relationships and reconcile them in the future. Revisiting an old path later after a quit break is always an option.
Quitting can be a tool for growth.
The key is knowing when and how to let go, because sometimes holding on is less helpful and more hindering to you.
EM
References:
Why Quitting Can Be a Superpower That Helps Your Mental Health (MSN)
When and How to Quit a Job, Relationship, or Hobby (Vox)
What Quitting Tells Us About Persistence (Psychology Today)
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