Ageist... Against Ourselves?

What If Some Ageism is Coming From Within Us?

Hey Y'all, 

I'm back with more food for thought. And, just a heads up, this will be a deep dive, because all the researching took me down a rabbit hole of sorts.

So, when you hear the words Ageist or Ageism what comes to mind? ...Prejudice based on someone's advanced age? 

...Or negative attitudes, beliefs, or practices directed at older folks??

And, for the most part, those actions, comments, etc. come from someone else... like, maybe it’s a younger boss assuming older people can’t keep up with new technology, or a doctor directing questions to the adult child instead of actual adult elder, despite the elder being the patient. 

These unfair moments sting (to say the least) because they reflect biased assumptions based on someone's age. ... And many Baby Boomers, and probably even some Gen X'ers have encountered these moments in some form or fashion, unfortunately. 

But, even as many of us oppose these stereotypes, we may unknowingly hold onto some of those beliefs about ourselves. Like claiming a bout of forgetfulness is due to a “senior moment” or not trying something new because we’re “too old”. 

I won't lie; I caught myself thinking exactly that when I was considering learning to roller skate.

It may seem harmless, but just like negative self-talk, these small thoughts can snowball into something bigger, and potentially be damaging. It can start small. But according to researchers, these seemingly harmless thoughts and actions can have a major impact on how we age.

How Self-Ageism Creeps In

Dr. Becca Levy, a Yale University professor of epidemiology and psychology (and author of Breaking the Age Code), has been studying this for decades. And her findings are eye-opening. According to Levy, our beliefs about aging don’t just shape our mindset—they can directly affect our health and longevity.

“Negative age beliefs can impact physical health, mental health, and physical function,” Levy says. In fact, people with positive beliefs about aging live an average of 7.5 years longer than those with more negative views.

 

The Science Behind Positive Age Beliefs

Levy’s research found that a simple shift in mindset can have some impressive results. For example:

• Older adults with positive age beliefs perform better on memory tasks, even after just 10 minutes of “priming” with encouraging messages about aging.
• Those same positive beliefs can improve physical abilities. Participants walked faster and had better balance when they were encouraged to think positively about aging.
• People who carry the gene associated with a higher risk of Alzheimer’s were 47% less likely to develop dementia if they held positive views about aging.

And it’s not just Levy’s research backing up these claims. A 2019 national poll on healthy aging by the University of Michigan found that 36% of adults aged 50-80 admitted to internalizing negative beliefs about aging. But among those with a positive outlook, 55% reported being in excellent or very good physical health, compared to just 30% of their more negative counterparts.

One Comment Can Change Everything

Levy’s interest in the power of age beliefs started with her own grandmother, Horty. During a visit, Horty (an active, independent woman), tripped over a wooden crate in a grocery store. Instead of offering help, the store owner shrugged and said, “Maybe you shouldn’t be walking around. Old people fall down all the time.” 

WOW! 😠

That comment hit hard. Levy’s grandmother, who normally relished her independence, started second-guessing herself and even asked Levy to water her plants and drive her to appointments, things she usually loved doing on her own.

Eventually Horty bounced back, but Levy never forgot how one thoughtless remark could trigger self-doubt, causing a domino affect of limiting someone’s confidence and independence. That moment helped spark her career studying the impact of internalized ageism.

Subtle Messages Shape How We See Ourselves

It's an unfortunate truth but, we’re conditioned from a young age to believe that aging equals decline; we're bombarded with constant messages, commercials, etc.. Think about all those cheesy birthday cards or equally lame jokes implying that people lose their value after 50. Even well-meaning compliments like “You look great...for your age” carry that undertone that suggests being older is somehow a disadvantage.

Julie Ober Allen, an assistant professor at the University of Oklahoma, found that over 80% of adults between 50 and 80 hold ageist beliefs about themselves. And sometimes, these messages even come from those who should know better to think that way. 

Joann Montepare, a psychology professor at Lasell University, admits that even researchers on aging fall into the trap. “As much as we know about it, we still fall prone to it,” she says.

Ageism: The Last Acceptable Prejudice?

Montepare points out that ageism remains one of the few prejudices still tolerated in society. “People don’t understand the variability... that not all 60-year-olds are the same,” she explains. “We’re not good at looking at context.”

Nancy Morrow-Howell, a gerontology professor at Washington University in St. Louis, sees this too. Even as a global leader in aging research, she catches herself wondering if she should retire just because she’s 71. “I have internalized the idea I should retire based on a certain chronological age,” she admits.

This kind of self-questioning isn’t uncommon. Morrow-Howell remembers worrying whether she should still drive at night, not because anyone told her to stop, but because of internalized ageist messages that make her doubt her abilities.

What We Can Do About It

So luckily, there is good news. 

Awareness is growing, and change is possible. Levy developed the ABCs of Age Liberation to help us recognize and combat internal ageism:

A: Increase Awareness—Notice when negative beliefs pop up in your thoughts or surroundings and squash them before they grow.

B: Place Blame Where It Belongs—On ageism, not aging itself.

C: Challenge Negative Beliefs—Next time someone says, “Of course your knee hurts, you’re old,” remind them (that if they have nothing positive to say, then hush!.. nah, I'm kinda kidding). Remind them that your other knee is just as old and doesn’t hurt. Basically, challenge them beliefs!

Organizations like Changing the Narrative, led by Janine Vanderburg, are also tackling this head-on. They launched a campaign in early 2024 specifically targeting internalized ageism.

“We have to embrace age however it may be,” says Montepare. “How do we put some value on aging and acceptance around that, as opposed to avoiding it all the time?”

It’s Time to Rewrite the Story on Aging

Aging is natural Y'all. 

It's nothing to fear, feel ashamed of, or apologize for. 

It's an inevitable part of life and it can be as vibrant, exciting, and full of opportunity as we allow it to be. But we gotta ditch those outdated beliefs. As Becca Levy’s research shows, how we think about aging can literally add years to our lives and more life to those years.

Let's rewrite the script.

EM

REFERENCES:

Allen, J.O. (2022). Study on internalized ageism, University of Oklahoma.

Changing the Narrative Campaign (2024).

https://kffhealthnews.org/news/article/change-views-beliefs-aging-improve-life/

Levy, B. (2022). Breaking the Age Code: How Your Beliefs About Aging Determine How Long and Well You Live. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58586409-breaking-the-age-code?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=Nem7h1djKU&rank=1

University of Michigan National Poll on Healthy Aging (2019). https://ihpi.umich.edu/featured-work/national-poll-healthy-aging